BOUNDARIES, HEALING & DEPENDENCE



\\Are we carrying any boundaries that do not serve humanity?//


As I shared a 1-2-1 Sacred Healing Ritual for a dear sister yesterday, I found myself channelling something that touched us both very deeply, surrounding boundaries.


Boundaries are a current "hot topic"... and I have been on quite a journey with understanding them over the years. I am still learning the importance of boundaries, and no doubt always will be.


What arose during our ritual however, was connected to creating so-felt useful or necessary boundaries when it comes to dependence.


Something many of us struggle with is being dependent on another. And vice versa, someone being dependent on us.


A common fear is allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, in need, or to give away our power. Also perhaps simultaneously we fear rejection & abandonment, by someone not "showing up" for us. Thus, fearing being hurt... Something we've all experienced, undoubtedly.


Fears can also arise when someone comes to depend on us. Perhaps we fear allowing another to depend on us leaves us vulnerable to being used, or that we might slip into an all too familiar role. For example, codependency... which we know is largely non-beneficial to our own growth.


Sometimes fear may even arise surrounding responsibility - something many of us unconsciously resist!


We are left then, with independence...

Seemingly the best option?

Perhaps not!


Let us remember, we are human beings & humans need humans. We need care and love and nurture, whether as babies... elderly... and each & every moment between.


Being independent and simply looking after ourselves... can lead to an individualistic society.

An every (wo)man for themselves mentality.

And let's perhaps consider the energy this increasingly familiar mentality is creating in the world, larger scale..


Lines & borders for seeming "protection".

Power struggles.

An unhealthy & nonsensical need for control.


... boundaries aren't always healthy.


We must use a huge measure of discernment, here.


A great example is in relationship with another. Oftentimes we pull back from a relationship when one of these fears is triggered.

A way we can use discernment here is by asking ourselves,

Am I pulling back from this fearing I will lose my independence?

Am I pulling back from this because it makes me feel too vulnerable?

Am I pulling back because I fear responsibility? Or getting hurt? ... and so on.


Another example, if we are met with someone showing signs of undependability, oftentimes we can shift our own dependability, based on the actions of another.</